Hi
Hear what you are saying about the scary trip to the vet but without it its impossible to give a full assessment of his problems which might be helped with diets or medication. My criteria for if a pet is still enjoying life are 1. is there still an appetite, 2.does the pet interact with their owner and surroundings, 3. can they get around reasonably well.
Your cat is still meeting all that so you aren't being cruel but if you really want to be sure to help him there's still a whole list of possibilities for his problems. I certainly can't diagnose him for you and if you go the a vet they will need to do blood tests for kidney problems, diabetes, overactive thyroid plus it sounds like he may have arthritis. A vet can also decide from a clinical point of view how severe any of the problems are and guide you in what you to decide to do to help him.
Cathy Wickenden BVet Med MRCVS
Barton Lodge Veterinary Centre
1 Midland Road, Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, HP2 5BH
Tel: 01442 216048 24 hours
[
www.bartonlodgevets.co.uk]